Coloring CES 2008

Covering the Las Vegas Consumer Electronics Show is impossible. The world's largest gadget display has almost three thousand exhibitors spread over what amounts to 35 football fields.

Except for some very white products, (everybody's favorite was the "I Love Clean Butt" Tole Pure Toilet washer), ultra black media electronics still saturate the convention floor.

But the numbers of green gizmos for Gore fans are growing, as are the pastel geegaws for gals.

Green

What in the world do Las Vegans know about green? The water and power guzzling desert metropolis loves fountains and flashing neon. And people worldwide love them for it. So CES feels quite at home.

Still glimmers and glimpses of token green are sprouting up. "Be kind to the environment and hang up reusable towels," said the hotel sign, yet all linens were swept away daily by the cleaning crew. "We are a green organization," boasted the CES Pressroom, as the kitchen gendarme left us holding empty plates while they cleared away the serving dishes of to-be-trashed salad. (The loquacious press was for once left speechless.)

On the convention floor, there was a mild attempt to be ecologically responsible. LCD flat screen TVs flaunt their need for less power than the rival Plasmas. And the anticipated OLED TVs boast of using even less than the LCDs. Displays of green and rechargeable batteries were plentiful. So were solar powered and wind-up flashlights. And a few more big companies have finally started cell phone and computer recycling programs. Nokia even installed their latest car electronics in a Toyota Hybrid.

"But no," confessed the red faced vendor, "the audio system was not especially green - however we do have a prototype wrist band that measures air quality!"

Pink

The favorite boy toys continue to be large flat screen TVs, talking robots, audio systems and video games. This year's prize for sculpted seduction came in a larger-than-life-size hourglass figure: the shiny silver six foot KEF MUON Loudspeakers (only 100 pairs in the world at $140,000 a pair). So size still matters.

Yet the ladies have arrived. One Pavilion even offered a girl-next-door team in jeans to demo their winning game against volunteer conventioneers - not your usual overly underdressed come on. And 2007's popular airborne helicopter is 2008's amazing aerial fairy. Her flapping wings are a hoot, but honestly the helicopter's propellers make much more sense. Kudos anyway for trying pink flying nymphs.

Pervasive macho black, however, reigns sublime. Vespertine is as sexy and sensual as ever - from the 150 inch Panasonic TV to the bug magnet for dispatching ants and fleas. (Next year, please build a better trap. One that zaps jumbo roaches.)

But since black doesn't always match the sofa, the predominantly male manufacturers also presented a rainbow of feminized vendibles. They expanded last year's crop of chroma conscious flat screened frames. The venerable folks at Philips introduced a TV frame whose hues morph to match the colors appearing on the screen. To introduce their slinky new "feminine line", (their words), they enlisted several equally slinky sirens. Philips sends a mixed up message.

For all ladies' palates, from fancy to frightful, entertainment centers were amply represented. And for the domestically inclined there were spiffy home appliances, notably the beautiful red metallic LG SteamDryer. Or for the penny pinching housewife there was the orange plastic hose clothes dryer. Only a multitasking supermom could love the weird Whirlpool Refrigerator As Home Electronics Hub. Who can bake a soufflé while watching a TV affixed to the fridge? Maybe the woman who primps and drives at the same time.

Meanwhile multiple bling blings turned up in the accessories. Flashy flash drive necklaces, bedizened ear phones, bejeweled iPod totes and iAudio docks, cute cameras, designer Laptops and designer Laptop bags,

But look to the guest celebrity roster to see if CES has made any real changes to the big boy playground. Headed by semi-retired males like Michael Douglas and Kevin Costner, the long list included former sports and NASCAR stars. Sprinkle in a couple of females, Yoko Ono and Danica Patrick, and you get the picture.

Still, posturing product pushers, porn stars and Playboy bunnies are the most colorful attractions at the conference. Even the sizable Brothers Sewing Machine pavilion featured a swaggering buxom model.

Yet as everybody knows, CES would be dreadfully drab without them.