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Super Bowl XLVIII
Sweet Jane Brownies
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M.R Dinkins
Entertainment Editor
February 1, 2014
HDTV Solutions

The puns are thicker than the smoke on Willie Nelson's tour bus - the Bud Bowl, the Bong Bowl, the Reefer Bowl, the THC Super Roll.

Who can resist? Super Bowl 2014 features two teams representing the only states to legalize recreational marijuana for folks over 21...excluding the National Football League players themselves who cannot smoke pot anytime anywhere. Period.

But the times they are a 'changing.

Just imagine a Stoner Bowl played, where else, but in Mile High Stadium? Joints and bong refills could be sold at the concession counters. When the game ends, fans would giggle their way out of the stands. No more brawls in the parking lot, just ripped rivals rolling reefers not heads, throwing flowers not punches, starting love-ins not riots. And carpooling home harmonizing to Truckin'.

Why wait? In that groovy spirit, I'm sending my annual tradition off in a puff of mellow yellow: no party food from the team's hometowns. Who needs a Starbucks latte or a Coors Light when we can bake up our own Rocky Mountain High and blaze Purple Haze with a super serving of Mary Jane's brownies?

Looking for inspiration, I traced literature's most celebrated marijuana brownie to the Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas. The recipe was censored in the book's first printing for its noxious properties. Sixty years later, you've come a long way, bhang! Pot Clubs and Pot Shops are popping up and inhaling is no longer naughty or politically incorrect.

Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas

Ironically, Alice's historic brownie was called "Haschich Fudge" and didn't contain any chocolate. It wasn't even Alice's recipe. A friend slipped it in her manuscript unbeknownst to her. But who cares? The myth has since inspired many genuine potent pottified pastries.

So let's revisit the book's original: grind nutmeg, peppercorns, cinnamon sticks and coriander with a "bunch of canibus [sic] sativa." Sprinkle the spices over a mix of chopped dates, figs, almonds and peanuts. (So far, it's a veritable energy bar.) Knead this into melted sugar and butter. Then press into squares. Voilà, you have the legendary "brownie." "Two pieces are quite sufficient," advises the text.

While not the chocolaty morsel we crave, her recipe did launch my search: just how much is a "bunch" of cannabis sativa?

Brownie Vertical

I asked my friend and cook extraordinaire, Kit, who hails from the home of the 49ers, where such reefer recipes were perfect antidotes for mourning over Colin and his boys' two agonizing near misses.

She shared her culinary expertise for testing the baking potency of pot and calculating the quantity to get the best buzz.

Start with a joint. Measure the marijuana you rolled and toke until you get toasted. Subtract what is left to gauge what you have consumed. Multiply that amount by the number of people who will share your brownies. Add that portion of hippie lettuce to your recipe.

And if you can handle that calculus, well done, Cheech. And if you ever get back to cooking, well done, Chong.

So better yet, says Kit, pick up a tub of marijuana butter at your local Pot Club. (Hot butter mixed with grass, you see, expedites the potency of pot.)

Mixing butter or oil with the herb draws out the delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (or THC), the unpronounceable psychoactive ingredient that gets you wasted.

If you want to concoct your own wacky tobaccy cannabutter, we consult thestonerscookbook.com.

Melt 1 pound of butter over a low heat and add ½ ounce finely ground marijuana. Simmer for 30 minutes and "don't skimp". The Stoners Chef insists on the long sauté for the best results. Then strain it. (Many other recipes call for more weed but the quantity depends on its strength, your preference and how baked you want to be. These are uncharted unchartable waters - even with Kit's quasi-scientific formula.)

After slipping your brownies in the oven, Chef says, spark a stick. Salvage the strained leftover leaf. For that recipe: "dry the weed using 4 napkins" and press under a stack of books. Then huff and puff to nirvana.

Holy smoke! That's just plain enlightened West Coast recycling juju.

Now to make good ganga brownies, try this wholesome family recipe meshed with a more tripped-out one from cannabis.com.

brownies Logo

Real Reefer Brownies

  • 1 stick of unsalted butter, plus butter for greasing the foil lining
  • 1 cup unsweetened chocolate powder (always go for the best)
  • 1 cup of packed brown sugar
  • "10 grams of weed is enough" (says cannabis.com), about 1/3 ounce (or use Kit's computation)
  • 2 eggs, beaten
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla
  • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 cup of coarsely chopped nuts (pecans or walnuts)
  • 1/2 cup bittersweet chocolate chips (good ones)

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees and place the rack in the middle. Line a 9 inch square baking pan with buttered foil.

1. In a big pan melt the butter, chocolate and sugar over a very low fire and stir in the weed. (Remember, don't rush, but be vigilant. You don't want to burn any of the cherished herbage.)

2. Cool the mix and whisk in the beaten eggs, the pinch of salt and vanilla.

3. Stir in flour until well combined. Fold in the nuts, and chocolate chips.

4. Bake for about 25 minutes. Test the brownies at 20 minutes with a toothpick. The pick should be clean but still moist when done. Wait. At least let them cool before eating.

Cut into at least 25 pieces and don't bogart those brownies.

Now if you are more of a slacker and want to speed up the production of your bona fide big bad brownies, buy a mix like Ghirardelli Double Chocolate (or some other outstanding brand). Find one that calls for adding butter or oil. Remember, hot oil wakes up the THC juices and maximizes the ride. Indubitably, add your "bunch" of Maui Wowie to the butter, and then follow the directions

Just the remedy Dr. Dre prescribes for winners or losers of this year's Super Doobie Bowl. Eat up and chime in: "Hey-ay-ay-ay, Smoke weed every day!"

Editor's Note: We all know to keep these marijuana brownies out of the mouths of kids and out of the hands of designated drivers, but don't forget the pets. The marijuana won't kill dogs, cats, hawks or broncos, but the chocolate can.

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Reader Comments(17 comments)

Posted Feb 6, 2017 7:52:51 AM

By Reign

How did you put the image on the brownies?
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