1. The first step is to clear the room of people and pets.

2. Before you leave, unplug the TV and turn off the central AC/Heat and fans. You do not want to blow or circulate noxious carcinogens all over the house.

3. On your way out, open the windows to let in fresh air. Then close the doors behind you. The particles need several minutes alone to settle to the floor.

4. While gravity is working for you, call the local office of the Environmental Protection Agency for help. (They exist to safeguard folks from environmental hazards - like the one we have here.)

But maybe it's Saturday night and you can't wait for the masked men to arrive on Monday morning. The kids will be all over the room by then. So it's up to you.

DO NOT SWEEP the remaining residuum. When you stir up the dust, you contaminate the broom, the room and you. And as we said, DO NOT VACUUM...at least not yet.

7. Collect the remaining broken bits with anything disposable that works - a manila folder, for example, is thin and stiff. It can both scrape and scoop. Clean up as much you can.

8. Take duct tape or very sticky wide packing tape, and wrap it - adhesive side out - around your hands to pat down and pick up the remaining tiny dicey TV debris. These also go into your to-be-sealed container.

9. Wipe up the remaining smithereens off the floor with a damp paper towel or cloth. And wipe down the remains of the TV frame. Remember, everything touching the TV wreckage, including your clean-up apparati, needs to be safely confined.

10. A hard floor is easier to clean than a shag rug, but the precautions and clean-up are similar. If your television broke on a cushy carpet, can you trash it? If not, follow all the twelve steps (except maybe mopping up with damp towels). If you are obliged to vacuum a carpet, do so with open windows, no AC, and no kids. Immediately afterwards, secure the vacuum bag and add it to the toxic trash.

Change bags frequently as minute residue filters through. Depending on how plush your rug, repeat the suck-up, seal-off and throw-out until you feel it's speckless. (If your vacuum cleaner is bagless, you should wipe down the innards after emptying it.)

11. When done, wash your hands and arms again and again.

12. Store the capped containers and the swabbed TV corpse in a protected place outside your home while you research the appropriate disposal. Do not discard the waste in the garbage or in city landfills. Call the local EPA or city government about drop-off centers for collecting the contaminated materials and containers. Your great grandchildren and those of your garbage man will thank you for your meticulous care.